Restoration

I want to restore

a fixer

you know I am

please

take my hand

lets not be afraid of the promised land

your wounds

cut through and through

far too deep

a heart as mine

to keep

one as yours to seep

from this change

a pain

reviving

renewing

completing

your heart will be new.

Did you know…?

That California is about the same distance from Texas than London is from Milan?

…Dublin is closer to London than LA is to San Francisco?

…and almost anywhere in europe is closer to London than New York is to LA.

Preeeetty pretty exciting huh?

The point is that I got into a school in London and I am planning on moving there next fall! As exciting as this is, I am so sad to leave all of my loves here at home and wish I could take you all with me, buuut you can come see mee and we can gooo on amazing adventures!!!

love love love looove,

and I must write in here more -(I just dont have internet at the moment)

20

california holds confusion.

brought down with guilt

selfish pride and desires

foolishly take the being

happiness is an unfair game

never honest

unless in it’s purest sense

while it withers and toils

this joy searches for the light

for the One expresses

“even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief”

this heart will always ache

for without you, i am unknown

 

is this what you wanted

for suffering in a cheap epiphany

when pain alone had not come as so

it got its moneys worth

will not be had, that or this

for they are meaningless

 

this day is old

i’m ready for a new one

maybe not so rotten

only the ripe reap this harvest

it is not a good one

and you see what i have done

what i’m going to do

so what’s the use

that “this too shall pass” ?

we must have hearts of glass

with every knick and cranny

You know.

Cali.forn.ia

I hope to come to you sooooon.

I miss you, your mountains, the cool air (minus the smog), the coastline, your escape.

So I should be leaving for the west coast around the 25th of August but so far I’m not quite sure what exactly I will be traveling back with or in and where I will be living. School is in the bag and I have a job or two secure, otherwise I got to get it togethaaa! Alright, to all of you in California I hope to see you soon. All of us here in the great state of Texas, I better see you as much as possible before I depart. I will miss you so.

Loving Peace.

My days have been a bit rough lately, but I am thankful for the close friends that help me during life’s painful mess. They always seem to point me in the right direction for guidence…

“Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” -Psalm 62:8

Thank you my loves.

Flashback.

Do you ever start writing and your thoughts become a whirlpool? Then you realize that what you have begun to write is too much for the present time? Welllll..that is how I felt yesterday writing my last post. I started writing, all these other thoughts began to rush through my mind and I was overwhelmed. So I kind of just ended it, a bit dicey.

Different subject. An ipod on shuffle can be exciting at times. Last night i was on my way to downtown and I was thrown back…

- Chevelle, “the red”?…hah…

-Ben Kweller, “Sha Sha”…reminded me of summer ‘04 and going to the lake house

-Hot Hot Heat. “I O U”…junior summer nights with alex

-Underoath, “A Boy Brushed Red Living in Black and White”…sophmore year alex and I would leave school everyday for about 3 months listening to them…hahaa hard core..

-Queen, “Black Betty”, the official GNO (girls night out) song of the senior summer…

-annnnd others kept coming like; Brand New, Led Zepplin, Spice Girls…out of control

I have a new found love for shuffle

aes alienum

There is a little book titled, Walden, by Henry David Thoreau that I am beginning to love. His 19th century, western philosophy mirrors many issues we face today, so if you need a heads up on debt he reiterates,

“It is very evident what mean and sneaking lives many of you live, for my sight has been whetted by experience; always on the limits, trying to get into business and trying to get out of debt, a very ancient slough, called by the Latins aes alienum, another’s brass, for some of their coins were made of brass; always promising to pay, prominsing to pay, to-morrow, and dying to-day, insolvent; seeking to curry favor, to get custom, by how many modes, only not state-prison offences; lying, flattering, voting, contracting yourselves into a nutshell of civility or dilating into an atmosphere of thin and vaporous generosity, that you may persuade your neighbor to let you make his shoes, or his hat, or his coat, or his carriage, or import his groceries for him; making yourselves a sick day, something to be tucked away in an old chest, or in a stocking behind the plastering, or, more safely in the brick bank; no matter where, no matter how much or how little.” -Thoreau

I cant help but wonder how many of us live everyday for a price. We have come a long way since the 19th century, and the demand of worth and status has certainly increased. Thoreau saw, even then, how meaningless these treasures we store up for ourselves were. Time has progressed, we have new technology, economies, and styles of life, but essentially the world has kept this meaning of worth. That we must have more money, more possessions, clothes, cars, houses, which to this day separates and discriminates people against each other.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Luke 12:34 NIV

“Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate…as if you could kill time without injuring eternity” -Thoreau

It seems to me that humankind is missing something. Apart of themselves that cannot be replaced by anything or love of this world…

There is a light…

and I have found you my Love. What life is there in darkness? For none could wholly love in what rebukes light.

Seek first the light and life will follow.

Rain.

I love it.

I love to run in it.I love to wake up at 3am to watch it with my dad. I love the rainbows it creates. I love the body and colors of it’s clouds

-Dont love driving in it.

I love its aroma. I love the clean air. I love that its raining more in LA. I love it, i love it , i looooove it. All it needs is some lightnin’ and thunderin’.

To begin with..

My first blog, aw. I keep a journal, but thats for personal stuff right? I dont know exactly what to say on here but im sure it will come to me. More than anything, I hope this helps me open up a little more. Considering, this is like having a conversation with the not so immediately present friend or whomever. Anyways, it helps the flow of thought and creativity and im all for that so please feel free to read, comment, or whatever.

Today was a good day. Got some good grades at school, read under a tree, and watched “Into the Wild” which was pretty awsome. I have alot of thoughts to run through but I think they are for me and my journal. Until next time, some food for thought: “Past reason hunted and, no sooner had, past reason hated.” -Shakespeare